they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Randomize
