these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
