Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
My breasts were aching with rage.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
