The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
