you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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