You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
operation harelip BJ is a go
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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