erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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