I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
