I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
