Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
