dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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