I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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