OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
