pedialite and red bull = repair kit
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
