i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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