If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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