Non-Jews are for practice
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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