nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
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