carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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