You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
