I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Randomize
