Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
