I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
