you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Randomize
