Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
