Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
