All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Well I just put wine in my tea
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
