? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
we made out on top of his cat.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
