I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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