Screwed.edu
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
