Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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