I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
