This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
