This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
