I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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