He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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