if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
