You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
