we made out on top of his cat.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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