Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
