dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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