I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
