If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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