Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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