JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
