Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
