Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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