Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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