Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
