I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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