No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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